Fear is not a Factor in my Planning

//Fear is not a Factor in my Planning

Fear is not a Factor in my Planning

So, we know my husband’s job is coming to an end. And we know we will have to move from this house this summer. I immediately said to myself (and out loud) let’s move to Durham! Good schools, more opportunity for my business, closer to family. Really sounded good 2 weeks ago.

Now those nagging thoughts are seeping in – slowly and quietly as I really look at this idea. They whisper to me behind the actions I take during the day. “But you DON’T have any REAL connections in Durham.” “BUT what if my daughter doesn’t get into the Durham School of the Arts?” “Really, where will you live?” “Really, you want to start out fresh – again – with nothing but your grit and determination?” Whispered fear pulling the rug out from under my feet ever so slowly.

How can I get this decision to stick in my soul? How do I commit to it? Really really? With no fear?

Here is the major barrier I put up for myself: I don’t want to move again. I want to be in one place and settle in. We have moved for my husband’s career 3 times in the last 10 years. And i don’t want to move again.

I just don’t wanna! Waaah.

But I gotta let that go and face this. Head on. There is no geting around moving.

It really comes down to what do I want my life to be like in 10, 20 years. What I begin now is what will be in my life then. What am I committed to making happen? It all comes from imagining and then making what I imagine real – right? Our actions begin in our brains.

I imagine a simple house, enough room for me and my kids and guests. I imagine a simple yard with a few tomato and pepper plants in a container garden. A patio or porch would be nice. I imagine a simple home office where I can plan out the moves for our senior clients. I imagine a place in 8 years where my children can return for a few weeks in the summer while they are in college and have it feel like home and not just temporary. I imagine . . . fear.

I imagine all the things that can go wrong. What if my business fails? What if my marriage fails? What if we make the wrong choice of housing? What if we just can’t afford it? There are so many things that can go wrong! How do I make this move happen without fear of failing?

Rev. Dr. Earl C Johnson was on the radio in his “First Things First” program on WSHA 88.9 as I drove through Durham last Sunday. He’s the one who said, “Fear should not be a factor in your planning.” It was as if he were speaking directly to me.

Good grief! How do you do that???

2018-04-27T18:37:49+00:00 April 27th, 2018|Moving|